Dear Diary

hello readers, i feel to write something and suddenly i remembered about my very very recently case. I didn't believe that actually my close friend misunderstood me - my certain words for specific. i felt down that time. nda ku sangka cematu jadinya. ku kenal ia almost 8 years and i dunno cemana buleh terjadi!. haish.. just so you know ku nda pernah cakap yang nda bisai2 belakang mu or gossiping about you before. im just telling you this because im afraid maybe someone karang ada tia mengasut or whateverlah yg kan memburuk2kan aku. im just heran and sedih. and yes dun worry im okay already and you're forgiven already. i didnt expect you terasa about my words atu. and nada bah dikepala ani terpikirkan ngucap kau atu.. entahlah.. maybe pasal aku cakap arah urang yang kamu kenal atu kali. so you guys assume its all about kamu. and let me clear everything it was totally bukan pasal kamu. and how come kamu terasa?? its like kamu membenarkan/mengiyakan apa yang ku tulis atu. kamu ngakun kan kamu cematuu?? and did i mentioned nama kamu?? INDA kan.. see i didnt even mentioned yang urg atu sekulah ku kah, classku dulukah, classku masa ani kah, kawanku dulu kah, kawanku masa ani kah.. i just said "my friend"because kalau ku gto ia pun, nda jua ia knal bah. thats is why aku buat cematu... if i was talking about you guys, mlstah ku ingau kan betapuk.. ku mention tu eh nama kamu ah.. ani kali-kali nada bah.. lapas atu tup tup ku dengar aku ani jadi bahan topik perckpan kamu ganya jua pasal post ku atu.. ASTAGAFIRULLAH... mengapakan cemani ani!!!!

to you darls, im not angry to you. im just feeling down, tekajut, nda pecaya and so much more that time pasal di kepala utak ani nada bah tepkirkan kan kau atu.. ndaku tau p tegarak hatiku atu kan mengomen arah ur status last time and your reply looked that something happened!! and after our convers di MSN atu alhamdulillah it's just another fcuking misunderstanding. its okay. i dunno if aku inda menagur maybe panjang tah kali masih tu ur kemarahan ah and im like stupid nda tau apa2 about that!! thank god i asked! but all i wanna say is im sorry jua but i actually asking myself too, why shud i?? pasal i didnt meant you bah. nah majal majal!! esh adang.. p just incase im sorry saja.

and another 2 guys i tell you that im 100% innocent here.. and i dun wanna ask anything from you esp for forgiveness. but i am expecting you guys to do so BECAUSE u guys misunderstood me and I AM VERY VERY "SICK AT HEART" after knowing that. I NEED EXPLAINATION!!

awu banar masa kamu membaca comment atu kamu sakit hatii pasal kamu pikir kamu. hati kamu!! banar padas ayatku atu..tapi hatiku ani.. yang nda tau cerita, yang bukan cakap pasal kamu and nda pedah jadi mangsa keadaan tia pulang!! LAGI SAKIT BAH HATI ANI...!! SAKIT DARI YANG KAMU RASA!!! kamu pernah menjaga perasaan ku kan?? jangan fikir selama kamu kenal aku ani aku nda pernah tersinggung dengan apa yg kamu cakapkan arahku, cara kamu becakap, cara kamu beibun and etc. aku atu usul saja happy and kuat beibun or melayan yg kamu cakap atu. psl aku kan menutup bah.. kalau ikut hati ani.. indaku mau bah meliat mua2 kamu atu. makin di liat sakit saja..

ganya jua comment ku atuu.. inda ku expect kamu kan sakit hati bah!! BUKAN KAMU!! tapi kenapa mesti kamu jua yang terasa?? dah tah kamu ani diliat tiap2 hari..cemani tah lagi kejadian nya.. indaku suka bah!! cubatah kamu tanya dulu aku.. kenapa ku beckap cematu, utk siapa or whatsoever fucking questions msatu you wanna ask. now i think semua atu inda pedah lagi. u guys memilih utk ikut saja apa yang ada dikepala kamu atu msatu.. and now see you guys inda tau the truth!! esh malasku bah sebenarnya kan memikirkan p ku inda suka sal semua yang kamu buat ani ampai2 SALAH wa!! cerita yang salah! eh banciku cemani ani.. nda ku sukaa!!

apatah maksud kamu yg jobless, lifeless and brainless atu?? OMG!! ndaku sangka cematu atu eh!! and please please kalau inda puas ati talk to them/us/me or siapa saja yang kamu sakit hati.. jangan jadikan BERGOSIP atu satu activity utk mengetahui cerita2 semasa utk mengupdate diri kamu or whatsoever. jangan tah kan mencari kelemahan/keburukan urg. Just look at ourself then ask why shud u do that & this?? whats the cons&pros?? is that a compliment?? is that ur tujuan hidup?? is that will help you di akhirat nanti?? do you need that?? jangan tah kan ikut nafsu saja..

i know that im not perfect. and jangan tah kan alim2 ani. awu aku ani nda jua berapa alim. but just please just ignore and stop talking about others. its not necessary in our life.just GET REAL. help yourself to get out of the satan's game.

sedihkan cerita hidupku atu

SUBHANALLAH.. may Allah Bless you.